No 1 can answer that question simply you, and at that place'southward a lot to consider. This decision involves a lot of thought, such equally planning when to stop using birth command, determining how much time to take off piece of work, and figuring out if you can nevertheless afford childcare.

Some say deciding to have a 2d child is even harder than deciding whether to have a first considering yous're non but talking about having a baby – you're talking about changing a family dynamic.

With each new child, y'all have to recall nigh how that baby will impact your lifestyle, finances, work, relationships, and, of course, your other kids. And if you listen to what other parents say, expanding your family by one could more than double your workload.

Of course, merely near everyone – from doctors and scientists to your friends and neighbors – has an opinion on baby timing and the platonic family size. Weigh the pros and cons and and then brand your own decision.

Here are some things to consider before you lot welcome a new babe into your life.

When is the best fourth dimension to have another child?

Some couples adopt to expect at least several years. That way, your other kids get plenty of private attention from you lot and are old enough to comprehend how another kid will change things. Others encounter a benefit to having children close together and so they tin can exist playmates – and then y'all won't be raising modest children for years and years.

Hither's what some BabyCenter moms have to say:

  • "My two boys are iii and a one-half years apart, and I call back that spacing is great," says Susan, an executive at a publishing visitor. "Since my older son was out of diapers by the time the younger one was born, I could fall in love with the idea of having a infant again. And they're conspicuously in different social and developmental arenas, so I don't come across a lot of sibling rivalry. They actually savour each other."
  • "My three oldest children are about a year and a half apart, and though it was tough when they were all babies, in many ways it was slap-up," says Barbara, a geriatric therapist. "They really amused each other and take stayed very shut. I'yard one of four children myself, and I actually wanted to recreate that big family feeling."
  • "My first ii are three and a half years apart. That gave me time with the firstborn alone," says Janet, an advertizement copywriter who is meaning with her third kid. "I think the older the child the better considering they're that much more independent and can mentally and emotionally handle the baby.
  • "In some ways, I wish there was a bigger historic period gap between my second child and the new baby – they're only ii years apart. I'thousand dreading having two in diapers at the same time. And I'm worried nigh the physical challenge of having ii who demand so much time."

woman talking

How many kids should yous take? Meet what other parents retrieve.

What does the research say?

In terms of the children's relationships with their parents, sibling rivalry, and their own self-esteem, Jeannie Kidwell, a sometime professor of family studies at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, says the best time to accept some other baby is either when your first is younger than 1 or older than 4. Babies who aren't yet ane don't have a sense of their exclusive status, then they're less apt to resent a newcomer, she says. And children older than 4 have had time to savor attention from Mommy and Daddy – plus, they're now involved in activities of their own.

When it comes to the wellness of your baby, waiting ii or three years earlier you get meaning again may tip the odds somewhat in your infant's favor.

Studies suggest that getting pregnant within 18 months later your commencement child is built-in tin can make information technology more probable that your second child volition be born early, underweight, or smaller than usual for the number of months he was in the womb.

Research also suggests that if you get significant inside 12 months of giving nascency, y'all may be at higher risk of placental abruption and, if you lot previously had a c-section, placenta previa.

If all this sounds disruptive, let'south put it in perspective. Researchers don't know for sure why waiting a curt fourth dimension betwixt pregnancies raises certain risks, just they take some ideas.

One is that the female parent'south body needs time to replenish vitamins and nutrients earlier giving birth again. So whether you're pregnant, programme to get pregnant, or want to wait, come across your doctor early to go the right care and advice, eat a balanced diet, take prenatal vitamins with folic acid, and continue your body as healthy as you tin.

So waiting longer is the fashion to go, right? Maybe.

Information technology turns out that waiting more five years to have your second child is too less than ideal. Some studies show that depression birth weight, preterm birth, and smaller size are more probable in babies whose moms permit five years or more pass earlier they get meaning, and the mothers are at higher risk of developing preeclampsia

What else should I consider when making the decision?

Science doesn't dictate all the choices we brand, of grade, and then here are some other issues to take into business relationship:

Your lifestyle

Are you settled into a nice routine with your other children? Practise y'all accept a adept childcare system set up? Is everyone else finally sleeping through the night? Perhaps you've gotten to the point where y'all and your partner have time for each other again. Mayhap you've gone back to work and you honey it.

These are all important factors when you're thinking of having some other. Remember, a newborn will take over your life. Consider whether you have the time and energy an baby requires, and whether your children are ready to deal with the reality of a baby in the house.

Your fiscal situation

Money isn't everything, but it certainly helps when you're raising a family. According to the latest authorities estimates, it tin can toll more than than $10,000 a yr to feed, clothe, business firm, and go along a child healthy. (And that's a bourgeois number for many parts of the country.) Information technology's a skillful idea to have room in your monthly budget before yous conceive another child.

Consider your work situation too. Many women find it harder to keep up with total- or part-time work one time the 2nd or third child comes along. Tin can you afford to quit work if that seems best or to pay for the new baby's childcare if you lot keep your job?

"My daughter is nearly iv, and we haven't had some other still considering we're worried about affording everything," says Stephanie, a higher lecturer. "Nosotros didn't have much money when we had our first, so we know what it's like non to have the resource to pay for things. That's why we desire to be better prepared for the adjacent one. Money is a huge consideration because of childcare costs."

"The other big thing is career. I stayed with my girl her whole outset year. I would similar to practise that with the 2nd child likewise. We want another – we're but non sure when. It already feels a picayune tardily to me."

Your age

Unfortunately, parental age matters, specially for women. If you're 38 and you desire ii more than children, y'all probably don't have the luxury of spacing them 3 years autonomously. Simply if you're younger than 30 and don't have whatsoever wellness bug that could make conception difficult, you can be a little more than flexible. (Larn more about your chances of getting meaning at unlike ages.)

Talk about the age question with your partner: Many people have a vision of how sometime they want to exist when they're finished having children.

Your outlook

Do you and your partner agree? Sometimes one partner is ready and the other isn't. It's hard to exist in sync all the time. This can be a catchy one to settle, but the first step is to start talking about your differences.

Sit down downward together and discuss your points of view. You may not resolve anything right abroad, just you'll have a amend agreement of the problems. It might help to talk to others in this situation.

Your heart

Sure, yous can sit down downwardly with a big legal pad and run through the pluses and minuses. Merely this is ane of those decisions that's led by the middle, and then go ahead and listen to yours. If you desire another baby, and your partner does too, at that place may exist no time like the present.

Join the chat

Visit these groups in the BabyCenter Community to share stories and get advice:

  • Large Families
  • Parents of Only Children